I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
