Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
