i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
