I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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