i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize