no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
