No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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