I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
