She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
