i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
