oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
