she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
worst night to have a conscience
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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