I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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