I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
