google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I showed him my bush... on skype.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
