In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
last night I used snow as a chaser
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
