Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
