I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
