Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so let's talk penis.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
