Tell her she can't have a vagina
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
