I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i will never coherently bang her
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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