Whod you bang
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
