so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
