Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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