At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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