Yo dont text me then not text me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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