Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
