woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
third nipple confirmed
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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