Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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