he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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