How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
