Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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