1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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