Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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