The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
