Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
