I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
