I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
