Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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