Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
