sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
