Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
