If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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