it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
