There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
