ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
