I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
