She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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