i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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