you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
