he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
