I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
