We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
