my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
