Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
